


hell raising, i’m ready for the worst.

by itsniv



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series), Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Angel!Ryan, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Horror, Demon!Shane, Demonic Possession, Demons, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gore, Manipulation, Monsters, Murder, Other, Shit gets real real fast, Vomiting, ZAGENE IS PLATONIC IN THIS, angel!ned, ill update the tags as i go along, keith?? well thats my sexy little secret, lets just say hes human ;], stop being freaks and shipping real people, werewolf!zach, witch!eugene, you get some fluff in between so its ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-04-08 01:45:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19097233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsniv/pseuds/itsniv
Summary: “i’m just doing my job. i’m sorry. i don’t want to hurt you but i need to do this i need to. i’m so so sorry guys. -k”-in which not everything can have a happy ending. in which sometimes, evil wins. eugene learns the hard way.





	1. premonition.

**Author's Note:**

> hey! i haven’t posted in a while because i forgot my password (oops), and now my brain wants me to hyperfocus on the try guys.  
> also, because i’m extra and super excited for this fic, expect spotify playlists soon.  
> ⚠️ THIS FIC WILL NOT BE SHIPPING REAL PEOPLE. ALL PEOPLE IN RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS FIC ARE ACTUALLY TOGETHER. DON’T SHIP REAL PEOPLE YOU FREAKS.⚠️

**_”i’ll see you on the moon.”_ **

 

* * *

 

 

 _it is november first. the time is 12:03 in the morning. the weather is cloudy and, most likely,_ _rain will surround the area within thirty minutes. authorities were called to the scene of murder, though they were called on thoughts of a bomb going off. they know so little._

 

_the police show up to the scene of a particularly gruesome crime. in the city of los angeles, an ordinary alleyway experienced an unordinary tragedy. three bodies are wheeled away, covered in heavy tarp and the past atrocities that took place. the alleyway smells of blood and burning flesh._

 

_“so… any ideas of what happened?” a cop asks, eyes unfocused to the dark red seeping out of the cracks in the cement._

 

_“the lady sitting on the curb called super frantic that a bomb went off. all that talking nonsense about angels disappearing... poor girl, she looks terrified, definitely delirious too.” another cop turns to her colleague. she inhales and sighs, glancing at the covered bodies._

 

_the other cop pinches the bridge of his nose._

 

_“didn’t she… didn’t she call saying her husband was missing a day ago? god, i feel so bad for her. her husband vanishes, then she experiences whatever mess happened here.”_

 

_the other cop nods. glancing over the alleyway, the forensic investigators were beginning to collect the remnants of what happened; a bloody clump of off white feathers, a machete dissolved into two pieces by what looked to be a heavily acidic substance, a dark, twisted goat’s horn, a double barrel shotgun found near one of the bodies, and a burned note. in her 8 years of work, the officer finds that this may be one of the strangest scenes yet._

 

_“...it’s a shame. only one of the bodies are recognizable, and he looks to be the one that suffered the least amount of injuries. probably died prior to the other two john does. we got a name, too. that woman identified him as one zach kornfeld, says he made videos with his friends online.” he points back to the lady on the curb. the other cop snaps back out of her daze._

 

_the woman twists her wedding ring idly, eyes glazed with tears as a couple officers surround her to comfort her. one attempts to talk to her about the past few days. the woman doesn’t hear them. the woman knows exactly what happened. where is her husband? why are his friends dead? everything hurts._

 

_the sky crackles a white, a deep red, a deep blue, and back to the inky black sky. thunder soon sounds as the beginning of rain drips onto LA. if one were to look closely as the white hot lightning rocketed across the sky, the silhouette of a tall man crouched on top of the building next to the alley, red wings erupting from his back, pointed feline ears and a thick tail of a lion wrapped loosely around himself, one large horn from the right of his forehead curling back into that of a goat’s horn. the most peculiar thing from this, is the tall man missing his other horn. after all, the witch took it as a trophy before he bit the dust. before his friend died, floundering for breath and choking on blood in a dingy corner, before the angel he knew would be trouble was impaled by the man he drove mad._

 

_shane madej had completed what he intended to finish. and so, the demon hobbled away from the edge, and into the dark of the night._

 

_what once was his companion glares at him at the other side of the building. he looks worse for wear. four white buds, previously holding four large white and blue feathery wings, are bleeding heavily, an iridescent fluid streaming down his back and coating his arms and legs. angels equate this to human blood, it seems, as he’s shivering and struggling to stand._

 

_”...i can’t- i can’t let you keep doing this, shane-“_

_”save it, raziel.”_

_”don’t-! don’t call me that name, that isn’t who i am anymore.” he wheezes, approaching shane. he stumbles, and bends down on one knee._

_”alright then, ryan,” he hisses the name like a mocking curse, _”_ what do you have left?” _

 

_ryan squeezes all five of his eyes shut._

 

_“the ones you tried to save from me are dead. you failed yourself as an archangel and as a friend. look what happened. i fulfilled what i was meant to do, and you were doomed from the start. your partner is dead. nemamiah, one of your own, is gone because of you.” the demon grimaces at his own words._

 

_they had come to know each other as a human ryan and a human shane. it’s funny how one event can bring out the true form of people._

 

_”you really are a beast of war, sabnock.” ryan scoffs, standing back up weakly._

 

_ryan turns to limp away, the shiny fluid of angel’s blood dripping heavily off the severed stumps. he gets to the edge of the building again before his eyes roll to the back of his head. ryan bergara, raziel, falls dead to the hard roof of the building. he lays there, limp and cold as the last remaining angel’s blood seeps out of his wounds. ryan bergara is dead, and it’s shane’s fault._

 

_shane stares at the small body as the rain picks up. he turns on his heel, unfurls his wings completely, and flies off. eugene lee yang, zach kornfeld, ned fulmer, and keith habersberger are dead. that’s just what needed to happen, and that’s just what will be._


	2. author’s prelude.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> right on the tin.

**ghouls! the author is here!**

do you like angst? supernatural aus? do you like buzzfeed unsolved and/or the try guys? well then, this may be the fic for you!

 

**_before we begin the story in actuality, i would like to say a few words._ **

**_\- this story is a work of fiction about real people. if you find that this makes you uncomfortable, i completely get it!_ **

**_\- i do not condone shipping real people. therefore, all relationships in this fic are all actual relationships. don’t be gross, stop shipping real people!_ **

**_\- if you are sensitive to gore, violence, manipulation, eye trauma, or body horror, then this isn’t the fic for you._ **

 

_now, how about some playlists?_

 

_**try guys** _

_eugene:[here](https://open.spotify.com/user/ek0hwf9i43e0pa7z1kr66xer8/playlist/25ZvIMJqMyUqLyqPPUukuM?si=nmROvlpbRcGs7Yk3wL1K0g&nd=1)_

_zach: [WIP]_

_ned:[here](https://open.spotify.com/user/ek0hwf9i43e0pa7z1kr66xer8/playlist/6NiHbkaZUpVCsO4YSxxkyR?si=nmROvlpbRcGs7Yk3wL1K0g&nd=1)_

_keith: [WIP]_

 

_**bfu** _

_demon!shane: [WIP]_

_archangel!ryan: [WIP]_

 

**prepare to cry your guts out!**

**with love, spook.**


	3. act i, scene i.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the try guys try the ouija game! now with 20% more supernatural secrets!
> 
> -
> 
> second chapter is updated with ned’s and eugene’s playlists!

“today, we’re trying something extra spooky for the occasion, today, we’re trying to contact a ghost!”

 

eugene should have seen this coming. it’s a week before halloween, and instead of pitching the expected “trying on slutty costumes”, zach brought up that they’ve only done something legitimately spiritual a couple times, so why not buy a cheap ouija board? maybe rattle around a chair while ned’s doing his turn and scare the shit out of him, maybe he will be an expert at this one too and summon a demon or something. just having a fun video celebrating the halloween season.

 

so there they sat in what would be considered ned’s old living room, windows blacked out and the room wall to wall covered with dollar store halloween decorations. ned was apparently particularly proud of taking the last glow-in-the-dark skeleton prop, and so, he insisted on sitting the skeleton on the chair next to him.

 

“so, how this’ll work is we’re all going to do one session by ourselves, y’know, take turns, and then we’ll all do one together.” zach speaks into the camera with an uneasy grin.

 

“i think it’ll be fun, honestly. i don’t think it’ll work, and i’ll just be talking to like- a board or something, but like, what if i end up talking to george washington or something?” keith chuckles.

 

“sooo… who’ll go first?” ned raises his brows.

 

the camera cuts to ned sitting alone, cross legged on the floor, pointer fingers on the planchette. he squirms in his spot and sits up, sighing a barely audible “oh boy”.

 

“y’know, i kinda almost know that like, eugene or someone will try messing with me. but i’m prepared,” he moves the hand held camera to his other hand as he whips out a little squirt pistol, “with this bad boy. if any of them try to spook me, i’ll spritz ‘em good.” he laughs.

 

ned moves the camera to the floor, and the footage cuts to a seperate camera. he rolls his neck and bends closer to the board.

 

“okay… is there, uh, is there anyone here?” he asks.

 

he waits for a minute, and… the planchette begins to move. it moves to yes and ned’s fingers begin to tremble.

 

“ho-holy shit.” he chuckles nasally, shaking his head in disbelief.

 

of course, he has to put on an act for the camera. he knows there’s something here, surprisingly. the archangel turns his head around to check behind him. he can feel the weak pulsating energy of a spirit. he squints, feeling the familiar bubbling of his wings under the human form’s skin. itching, crawling sensations, the want to unfurl the wings of his real form. he pushes it to the back of his head and rubs his face, then puts his hands back on the planchette.

 

“okay… can you tell me your name, then?” he cocks a brow.

 

the minute the planchette moves, ned can feel the energy of the camera die out. damn. with no eyes on him, ned relaxes his tense body, and unfurls his wings. in a matter of moments the archangel’s wings splay out behind him in an impressive display of fading and swirling red patterns amongst the off white feathers. he feels… fine. the energy of the spirit is still in the room, and ned stands up from his position on the floor, knees cracking. he spins around to find…

 

“cassiel..? why are you here? i thought that-“ he stops, and his mouth presses into a thin line.

 

this spirit, no, this angel, cassiel, was shivering like a leaf. they looked like they were dragged through hell, and they were still attempting to wipe their wet cheeks of tears. in comparison to ned, they were smaller in every way and, in both in human and true form display, could be seen as pathetic to the angel of prosperity before them.

 

“nema- ned, ned, i’m so sorry, i- i didn’t want to tell you this but-“ they wheeze and straighten their posture to look ned in the eye, “something very, very bad is going to happen.”

 

* * *

  
  


“ned! ned, how’d it go?” zach asks as ned hastily exited the room.

 

“hm-? oh, it was fine. didn’t get anything. the cameras died, too.” he frowns. zach swore under his breath.

 

“i think we have another handheld camera, we can use that one while i check the other two. they were both fine this morning, too!” he throws his hands up in the air limply, though there seems to be little to no frustration in his voice.

 

ned just nods weakly. his friends… they don’t need to know. not now. he makes his way to the bathroom as eugene gives him a look.

 

“okay! keith, you wanna go next?” zach claps and rubs his hands as he looks into the dark room.

 

“huh? i mean, sure. maybe i’ll get lucky and have a demon throw me against the ceiling or something.” he laughs, and moves from his spot on the ground.

 

“god, you know who you sound like? you sound just like shane right now, keith. he’s all ‘oh, i hope this demon eats my heart out’ and honestly, i’m surprised neither you or him are dead yet.” eugene raises his eyebrows at keith, who just smiles.

 

“i don't think the demons are ready to drag this hot piece of ass into hell yet.” he winks, and eugene groans.

 

with that, he ventures into the dark room.

 

* * *

 

it was then keith’s turn.

 

the tall man was sitting on the couch of the room, the board sitting across from him. his handheld camera was placed in front of him as he looked through the planchette and chuckled. nothing there. to him, this was just an entertainment piece.

 

“okay! demons, ghosties, ghoulies, give me all you got!” he shouts into the empty room.

 

he sits and waits, then looks into the handheld with a dopey grin.

 

“y’know, i bet eugene might actually like, summon a demon or something. maybe he’ll get possessed and finally kill us all. god, imagine that! i bet if eugene got possessed, he would just criticize the demon out of his body.” he laughs at his own joke.

 

“okaaay… if there’s anyone here, move this funny plastic piece!” he points at the planchette and scoffs.

 

he drummed his fingers against his thigh, the only sound filling his ears being white noise, the gentle thrumming of blood in his ears, and cars riding by every few beats. waiting for thin air to respond was boring, so what does keith do best? crack shitty jokes.

 

“hey… why did the ghost die in a car crash? he uh… he didn’t wear his sheet belt.”

 

keith could here zach laughing from the other side of the wall. he chuckles to himself, and looks back to the planchette. nothing.

 

“alright, five minutes are up.”

 

he vacates his spot on the couch and leaves the board in the room.

 

* * *

  
  


“nothing!” keith exclaims almost triumphantly.

 

“do you think the ghosts picked favorites? ned said that a ghost named casey talked to him. that, my friend, is pretty fucking spooky if i do say so myself.” zach hums as he looks over the footage.

 

“woah- woah, guys, look at this.” zach exclaims, looking up at the other three.

 

the huddle around the camera to rewatch the footage. as keith cracked the ghost joke, a small orb floated downward behind keith.

 

“...just some dust.” he shrugs in response.

 

“just some-? that is a poltergeist! that is a ghost orb!” eugene practically swings his arm at the camera.

 

“ah yes, a ghost that looks suspiciously like a speck of dust.” keith raises his eyebrows and eugene rolls his eyes.

 

“whatever. zach, you’re up next.” ned gestures towards the room and zach stares into it.

 

* * *

  
  


it’s zach’s turn, and he isn’t terrified at all, no sir.

 

scratch that. he hates this.

 

it’s not because he’s faced with a demon board, not because he was sitting in a dark room with nothing but a camera, no. he’s scared that he’ll have a… “reaction” to the stressful situation. he can already feel it, too, the hot energy beneath his skin that just wants to push the wolf out, to become that teeth gnashing, bloodthirsty beast that lives with him in his own skin. he hates it, he hates the scratching feeling under his skin.

 

just thinking about it makes him shift ever so slightly. it’s awkward, he can feel his upper canines pull farther down his gums and his hair raise in alarm, but it’s fine. he’s fine, though he can’t believe that he fucking psyched himself out and started a shift. unbelieveable.

 

nonetheless, he puts a hand on the planchette.

 

“okay, okay- uh- anyone here, tell me your name, all that jazz?”

 

the planchette doesn’t budge.

 

he can feel that creeping fear of the dark across his back, and his hair raises just a little more as he bites back a whine. not now. that would be embarrassing.

 

“fun. fun! alright. it’s only been like, two minutes.”

 

he stares at the planchette. maybe being a beast gives him super cool mind moving powers. he stares a little harder at the planchette. it doesn’t move. worth the try, and the idea itself makes zach chuckle to himself.

 

“i guess trying to make it- make it move with my mind doesn’t work.” he talks into the camera.

 

he sits in silence, and as he opens his mouth to ask another question, something bangs on the door.

 

zach nearly leaps out of his skin as he spins around to find eugene leaning against the doorway, cackling as keith records behind him. he gives a nervous smile to the camera, then looks back at his camera with a look of fading terror and amusement. he picks up the camera, stands up, and massages a hand over his mouth, feeling the wolfish canines retreat back into a more human shape.

 

however, the man had failed to notice the sharp yellow irises and slit pupils still present in his human form.

 

keith, however, noticed all too well as he stepped out of the room.

 

* * *

  
  


eugene sat in silence as the board moved wildly under his fingers. his hands buzzed with energy as the ghosts continued speaking. they always had so much to say to him, ever since he was a child.

 

this was one of the few times he actually tried talking back.

 

he shut his eyes as the board continued moving, the concentration of the spirit warding sigil drawn on his arm fading as he simply… let go.

 

the voices hit him like a truck as the sigil ceased function.

 

eugene opens his eyes to find several orbs around the room, some in the form of disembodied hands, eyes, mouths (those spirits are always the loudest), and other parts. very rarely does he see a full apparition. ghosts that are full apparitions are usually the most dangerous, because that means there’s an energy source nearby. never good.

 

“...i’m finally talking to you. it’s been a long time, and here i thought i would have to shut you all out. you have five minutes before i reactivate the sigil.”

 

the voices practically screamed at him, words like “DANGER”, “WAR”, “FALLING”... they usually would give him premonitions of the future through their shouting and pleading. it’s the one use he has of them.

 

eugene clutches his ears. he doesn’t want to hear this. he doesn’t need this on his conscience, among other things. they keep yelling, begging for their life to be returned. he can feel one scratching at the back of his neck, a long, hot raking feeling. he tenses in alarm and reactivates the sigil, the energy returning to the sharpie symbol. slowly, the voices, the scratching, fade out. eugene sighs in relief.

 

he stands up and opens the door with his signature deadpan face. ned looks at him funny with that stupid concerned dad face. he gives him a smile.

 

“eugene isn’t here right now.” he hums.

 

“oh god, eugene’s possessed, i knew it, i knew this would happen!” ned hollers, and they both laugh.

 

“hey, where’s keith and zach?” eugene looks around and combs a hand through his hair.

 

“uh, keith’s outside making a phone call, and zach’s in the bathroom.” ned gestures accordingly.

 

“we got the footage?” eugene asks.

 

“yup, i think we can call it a wrap today.” ned puts his hands on his hips and nods.

 

as eugene turns to locate keith outside, a resounding ‘BANG’ circulates through the house. from the bathroom comes muffled snarling.


	4. act i, scenes ii and iii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating soon enough! finals are coming up so ive been busy.  
> also, things start picking up soon.

keith makes a call.

 

of course, he steps out to call this someone. he’s supposed to report to his… “boss” when encountering anomalies.

 

“...hello? yeah. yes, it’s habersberger.”

 

the voice on the other end is gruff and deep.

 

**“i don’t have a lot of time. what do you have for me habersberger?”**

 

keith tries to swallow the lump in his throat. he doesn’t want to do this. ratting his friend out to a monster hunting corporation was the last thing he wanted to do. it’s his job. he has to do this. he has to.

 

“um… we have a type one anomaly. zach kornfeld. i have no further evidence to suggest that he’s dangerous, a-and he probably isn’t, so maybe we can just let this one go-“

 

**“habersberger. you can’t just ‘let go’ an anomaly. you don’t know if it’ll become dangerous. we’ll find it and take it into custody. describe its physical features, habersberger. we’ll use your location to pinpoint it from there.”**

 

“it’s- he- he’s not an ‘it’, sir. he’s my frie-... never mind. um- type one anomaly takes the form of- of a five foot eight inch male, black hair and skinnier build, name zachary kornfeld. anomaly shows anomalous property through yellow irises and slit pupils. possibly a werebeast or . anomaly hasn’t- hasn’t shown these properties before under my watch. type one classification due to no signs of hostility or awareness of anomalous property. l-look sir, please, why can’t we just let h-“

 

**“if we let him go, we’ll have to start letting go the type twos, the type threes, hell, even the type fours! you don’t want a type four rampaging around the LA area, do you habersberger?! you’re too soft. you do realize that if you refuse to cooperate, we can simply… take you out of the equation, right? you know too much, don’t you? i wouldn’t risk disobeying, habersberger. eliminate the anomaly and we won’t have a problem.”**

 

the man on the other end hangs up and leaves keith in an uncomfortable, heartbreaking silence. his breathing picks up as tears prick at his eyes, a crushing, sinking feeling in his chest making him feel even more sick to his stomach. he can’t do this.

 

he stomachs the dread and steps back inside.

 

* * *

  
  


eugene and ned rush to the bathroom, but before ned gets to open the door, eugene stops him in his tracks.

 

“ned! wait, just- just wait! you heard that snarling, right? i don’t know what the hell got into the bathroom, but maybe- maybe a raccoon got in there or something- fuck, just let me…” he whisper-yells.

 

eugene knocks on the door.

 

“zach..? buddy? everything alright?”

 

silence.

 

“c’mon little guy, uh… fuck, what if he hit his head?” eugene’s eyes widen.

 

ned sees this as the go ahead and shakes the door handle. luckily, it’s unlocked. he swings the door open and the pair try to hustle in at the same time.

 

and ned screams.

 

because tangled in the shower curtain on the floor is a black and gray wolf, writhing on the floor and whining. what’s worse, though, is the lack of zach and said zach’s clothing being in tatters along the floor.

 

ned tries to back out of the door but eugene is in the way, paralyzed with fear. he can’t move. the wolf keeps looking at him. it blinks at the pair and its mouth opens as its tongue lolls out. the wolf rolls onto its back and wriggles, still in an attempt to get the shower curtain off.

 

“...what the fuck. what the FUCK.” eugene finally wheezes.

 

“that’s a whole- that’s a whole fucking DOG. oh god, fuck, do you think it ate zach?! eugene, eugene i think the wolf ate zach-“

 

“ned you dipshit, that IS zach.” eugene hisses, eyes back to the wolf.

 

it’s… certainly a wolf. its hair is thick and long, especially in the chest area. it’s smaller than what you’d expect a wolf to be, probably a bit bigger than a large dog. it’s looking up at the two with these stupid puppy dog eyes, these piercing yellow puppy dog eyes.

 

eugene just scoffs.

 

“move over, ned. lemme get that thing off him.”

 

ned scoots to the wall and slowly crouches down, muttering about ‘big ass dog’ and ‘that can’t be zach’. eugene gets on his knees in front of the wolf and slowly inches his hand towards the beast’s muzzle. its ears flatten against its head and it growls, but as he gets closer, the growling stops. it leans forward to lick his hand.

 

“dude- dude, gross.” he chuckles.

 

he tugs off the shower curtain from the wolf’s front paws first, and it tries batting at eugene’s face. he tenses up and his breath catches in his throat, but he continues anyways. it’s when he moves it halfway down the wolf’s stomach that it manages to wiggle out of the rest of the curtain. the wolf shakes itself out and stares down eugene and ned. ned is bust having a total freakout in the corner, but eugene just sits. and waits. 

 

the wolf shuffles towards eugene and presses two big furry paws on his thighs. it sniffs his face, whines, and attempts to move itself onto his lap.

 

“whoa- god, fuck- zach, you aren’t a lap dog!” He bites back a chuckle as the wolf stares at eugene and almost looks like it narrows its eyes as if to say ‘fuck you, i am’.

 

“eugene… eugene, what’re we gonna tell keith? does he know how long it takes to just- change back or something?”

 

* * *

  
  


the bathroom door opens and ned inches out first. eugene follows close behind with his jacket wrapped around wolf-zach in his arms. he pokes his muzzle out and sniffs, but eugene pushes his head back. a few crew members look on in concern. keith rattles the doorknob and a second later slumps his way inside. he eyes up the pair in suspicion and ned just gives him a painful, obvious ‘i’m-hiding-something’ smile.

 

“what, uh… what do you got there? where’s zach?”

 

eugene speaks up first.

 

“um, zach called an uber home. felt sick. we found a… a really big rat in the bathroom. super big,”

 

“super gross,” ned adds.

 

“yeah, super gross.” eugene nods.

 

zach whines under the jacket.

 

“oh shit! lemme see the rat!” his eyebrows shoot up and he steps towards the two.

 

“no!” ned and eugene shout in unison.

 

“i’m uh-! i’m taking it outside right now and it’s super gross! goodbye!” eugene hastily shuffles out to the backyard, ned trailing behind him.

 

keith just pinches the bridge of his nose and sits down.

 

* * *

  
  


“okay. let’s evaluate the situation.”

 

eugene has his hands on his hips as he stares down zach, curled into himself and dozing off in the california sun. ned still looks shell shocked.

 

“okay. we find out one of our best friends is a fucking werewolf. somehow he turns in the bathroom. dog gets stuck in shower curtain. keith thinks we’re nuts.”

 

“if we tell anyone else, we’ll definitely look like we’re nuts.” eugene huffs.

 

zach yawns and nuzzles into himself further. eugene almost finds this cute.

 

“how do we like… get human zach back? does it just happen?” ned inquires.

 

“honestly, i have no clue. maybe i co-“ eugene is cut off by the harsh cracking of bones.

 

it’s like a car crash, neither him nor ned can look away, they can’t ignore the shifting of bones underneath zach’s skin. the wolf looks undisturbed and continues sleeping as flesh pulls back, as bones rearrange, as muscles disperse. there isn’t any instance of bleeding either, which is what deeply disturbs the witch to the core. he’s seen skinwalkers, he’s seen banshees, he’s seen demons tear people apart for gods’ sake, but this is just straight disturbing.

 

when zach’s face finishes rearranging, the wolf hair recedes back into his now human body. when he starts to stir, he’s human. naked, but human. he stretches out on the grass and yawns, but when his blurry vision focuses on the two men in front of him, he screams and flails backwards.

 

“fuck-!! what the hell are you two /doing/ here-?! why are- oh.” his eyes widen with absolute terror.

 

“you… you saw, huh. you saw it. fuck- fuck, ned, eugene, i’m so sorry, i- i didn’t hurt any of you, did i? look, i- i can remember some stuff usually, but- just tell me if i did, i can leave, i promise.” he rambles, voice shaking.

 

when eugene scoots towards him, the smaller man tenses up.

 

“hey- zach, zach, it’s alright.” eugene murmurs.

 

ned squats behind the pair and softens his gaze at zach, from one of fear to concern. his intuition is rusty, but the angel hones in on the werewolf in front of him. all he can hear from him is just “hide, sorry, no''. he could just… calm zach down. but that could expose him. as he finishes zoning out, zach had appeared to be almost done babbling.

 

“...and- and if i get too stressed out, it just- it just happens. i psyched myself out in the room and started shifting, i thought i had it under control, i thought i could hide it- i’m sorry.”

 

“zach. listen, it’s alright. while admittedly this is kinda freaky, i think all of us know you would never hurt us.” eugene sighs, and zach drags a hand down his face, slick with tears.

 

“zach? can i tell you something that… might make the situation better?” eugene hums, and ned perks up.

 

he can feel it first before eugene starts talking, that otherworldly vibration around the other man. he’s only ever seen that in… oh.

 

“zach, you’ve heard of witches, right?”

 

the smaller man nods, and the vibration picks up in ned’s ears.

 

“eugene-“ ned puts a hand on his shoulder, but eugene’s already begun tracing something in the ground.

 

the small sigil glows a bright purple, as does eugene’s eyes, and zach stares down at it in alarmed confusion. before he can register what’s going on, the ground pulsates. he looks back at eugene only to find the man looking into his eyes. he can’t find the will to look away.

 

ned watches in astonishment as small rocks and pebbles gravitate towards eugene, circling around him and occasionally pulsing and forming different patterns and, surprisingly, forming the dirt around him into different fractals. he looks at eugene’s face and the man’s in a sort of meditative state, as is zach. this scene to anyone else would look weird as all hell, as it’s not every day you can see someone manipulate the earth and stare into the eyes of some hairy naked twink at the same time.

 

both men snap back to reality at relatively the same time. zach’s pupils shift from the slits to a more human shape, though they look extremely dilated. he exhales shakily and eugene looks as stoic as ever.

 

“...do you get it now?” he croaks.

 

zach nods and smiles. ned, unfortunately, is left completely in the fucking dark. stupid eugene, stupid telepathy, stupid witch shi-

 

ned can hear the backdoor rattle, and immediately begins to panic. eugene whips his head around, the last remaining purple glow draining from his eyes. he mumbles something quick under his breath, smacks zach’s bare thigh, and he begins… floating. eugene points somewhere and zach gets thrown into the nearest tree.

 

“what the fuck.” ned’s eyes widen and he looks at the tree. zach is hanging onto a thick branch in fear, thankfully hidden mostly by leaves.

 

keith pops his stupid muppet face out of the back door and smiles in concern.

 

“you uh… you guys okay back here?”

 

eugene and ned nod at the same time.

 

“uh, listen, we’re going over the footage… you sure you’re okay?”

 

they both nod again.

 

“...alright. okay. okay! i’ll uh, i’ll see you inside then?” keith hums. honestly, it’s best not to question it.

 

keith heads back inside and the two sit on the ground in a stunned silence. ned signs heavily and stands up first, and eugene lowers zach down from the tree. the smaller man is shivering from fear, and eugene opts to just put him down on the ground.

 

“i’ll meet you back inside.” eugene calls, and ned gives a thumbs up.

 

* * *

 

however, gazing down at the two of them from a nearby rooftop, is a tall man with large black goat horns…


	5. enter the lion of war and angel of mystery. (act ii scene i)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> obligatory ghoul boys chapter!
> 
> apologies for not updating in a while too, i'm busy with work this time around. summer job, which means i get my grubby hands on cash!
> 
> i'll update the spotify playlist chapter too, so keep an eye out for that.

“...and cut!” TJ calls over the camera, and shane claps in some small celebration.

 

“alright!” he cheers, and ryan smiles. 

 

ryan’s voice still reverberates in the grand church they’ve set up shop in. the thing is huge and abandoned, and shane thinks this could be the perfect set for some cheap horror movie. the church they, mostly ryan, regrettably stayed in for the night, the graveyard out back, even the old catholic schoolhouse on the grounds. he can see it now, some axe wielding maniac sauntering through the grounds. ryan would die first, knowing him. shane chuckles to himself.

 

“whatcha laughing at?”

 

“nothing.”

 

“dude, you got real into that demons and angels theory from this case. like, i get that these priests were just dead in that church killing, but like- you good? have you finally gained the sight?” ryan laughs, and shane just snorts.

 

“what, me? never. never in a million years. hell, i’m pretty much blind already, the last type of sight i want to gain is the type to see bullshit.” he spits back in good sport, and ryan scoffs.

 

“this one was creepy to even look at during the day, and now we have to sleep here. wondrous.”

 

“hey, i have a brilliant idea. what if, i dunno, i sleep here, and you sleep in the old schoolhouse?” at this, ryan almost jumps out of his skin.

 

“what-?! you’re shitting me!” ryan yelps back, and shane gives that stupid uninterested shrug.

 

“it’d be a good idea, you’re stuck in a crumbling building surrounded by spooky ghost kids from that fire, and i’m here with a bunch of angry priests wanting to probably tear my liver out through my nose. it’s perfect!” he throws his arms up.

 

“...alright. i’ll do it. but i sincerely hope you get disemboweled by angry old catholic men.” he huffs, and shane smiles.

 

“okay! TJ?”

 

“rolling.”

 

ryan clears his throat.

 

“alright, so now here comes my least favorite part. shane is going to sleep in the church for the night, and me? i have to sleep in the schoolhouse. i’m just going to clutch my holy water, and pray for the best.”

 

“sounds great! personally i can’t wait to have a party with the frisky old murder men.”

 

“shut up, shane.”

 

* * *

 

a while later, shane is peacefully sleeping on the floor, nestled between two dusty pews in his sleeping bag. he’s snoring, and every now and again he would turn a little or squirm in his bag.

 

of course, as usual, it was just an act. demons don’t sleep. no rest for the wicked, afterall.

 

shane cracks an eye open and he can feel the camera die as he does so. he sits up and cracks his back, the lanky limbs of the form he decided to take reaching above and to the side of him to stretch. he inhales once and sighs heavily as his wings unfurl from his back. heavy things, they are.

 

he stands up and looks around the church itself. the bloodied spirits of the priests cower as his glare reaches them, and as he bares his teeth they leave just like that. poor things, he thinks. they would’ve liked them down there.

 

whatever.

 

he saunters out of the church. the whole “demons can’t set foot on consecrated ground” thing was a myth created by angels as means of gossip, and thank whoever for shane in that case. he would’ve been set ablaze as soon as the van rolled up to the church if that was the case.

 

he stands out in what would have been a garden, now overgrown and abandoned. the rotted wood of the fence surrounding the dead grass and dry, shriveled bushes is easy to push over, and he does just that as he opts to sit on the dried out earth below him. the fence melts and cracks under his touch. soon enough, maggots work their way out of the cracks of the fence itself. not even shane knows how they get there. it just happens to be one of his discords.

 

what happens to be a discord? it’s the exact opposite of an angel’s grace. demons are just bad at naming things. if an angel can bring a man back to life, a demon could touch a man and he would collapse from leprosy. being the demon sabnock himself, shane could simply look at an object, living or not, and it would melt and wound, filling with maggots and gangrene if he so willed it. he’s particularly skilled with combat as well, but that’s just from his old days as a marquis.

 

now, back with what you came to see.

 

shane stares off and begins to contemplate. no more than a week ago was he instructed to bring an end to a certain nemamiah, and yet he’s got no trace of the angel. all he was told is to kill the angel and all that stood in the way of it.

 

quite frankly, he thinks, he’s doing a shitty fucking job. then again, he’s not getting any help from his legions down there. not that those disposable things could help. all he has on the angel is that he’s taken up a human form and resides with three others. the angel has a human wife and, remarkably, a human child. guess miracles do happen, he thinks, then scoffs.

 

if the angel really has gone that native, then there’s a chance shane can just… give a little nudge to someone close to him. maybe his human wife. maybe his human friends. maybe he could even possess that child of his, yeah. wait. he stops himself there as his eyes shoot open. he wouldn’t do that to a kid. poor thing couldn’t take the stress of another soul. forget that plan. what the fuck are you thinking shane, he thinks, and smacks his head.

 

as he goes back to formulating a plan to find the angel, a wave of unease washes over him. he grips his chest as he rides it out, feeling the familiar bubbling of the thick black ooze humans call blood rising in his throat. before he can stop it, he chokes and the thick inky black is vomited onto the dry grass.

 

fuck. 

 

an angel must have him in their sights.

 

he scrambles to his feet and flexes the ivory lion’s claws on his hands. the black ooze makes a return and he spits it onto a bush. he stands still and listens. no distant hum of energy, no bright light, nothing. maybe he’s going crazy. he flexes his wings one last time as he tucks them back in, the leathery black display simply disappearing. he wipes the ooze away from his face. yeah. he’s just losing it, it’d make more sense. until…

 

“shane? what’re you doing out here?”

 

he freezes in his spot. he takes a second to swivel around to face ryan.

 

“...ryan! hey buddy, what, uh- what’re you doing out here?”

 

“i heard you vomiting. you alright? do you want to just call it here and head back to the hotel with the rest of the crew?” he looks genuinely concerned, and shane can’t help but soften.

 

“oh, ryan… i’m alright. i’ll be alright, you don’t need to worry about me. it’s another bad hotdog incident is all.” he chuckles.

 

ryan initially doesn’t look like he’s buying it, but he just sighs.

 

“alright. go rest, okay? i can head back into town and buy some water and advil if you wa-”

 

“no, don’t trouble yourself. go back to sleep.” he smiles.

 

ryan worries his bottom lip but returns the smile as he turns back to the schoolhouse. shane waves as he departs, but as he leaves…

 

the same uneasy feeling hits him. the ooze comes back as a nosebleed, and that’s when shane connects it.

 

ryan must be an angel.

 

his heart drops to his stomach. no. no way in hell is his best friend an angel. and why is he just feeling it now? usually to stay undetected, demons can get witches to cast long lasting glamours. perhaps ryan did the same.

 

and perhaps the glamour finally wore off.

 

shane vomits again this time, but it isn’t ooze. it’s very real human bile and human food. tears prick his eyes. just his luck his best friend could potentially kill him. just his luck his friend would destroy him onsight if he knew.

 

shane just sighs in disbelief as he stares in disgust at the vomit.

 

he needs to do something about this.

 

he needs to kill ryan before he kills him. a quick backstab. it’s what demons do, right?

 

right?

 

* * *

 

ryan makes a phone call.

 

he squats uncomfortably on the roof of the schoolhouse. there wouldn’t be any cell service in this area for others, yes, but ryan thankfully was able to grace himself a cell signal.

 

the voice on the other end responds after about eight rings, and it’s groggy and full of sleep. that’s when ryan remembers it’s two am.

 

“...eugene lee yang, spiritual specialist and witchcraft expertise. how may i be of service? if you’re looking for the hot and heavy sexline hotline, try using a two in place of the six. in that case, wrong number.” he monologues.

 

“eugene, it’s ryan.”

 

“oh thank god. if i got one more call from a forty-five year old dad i was going to change my number. again.”

 

ryan just chuckles at this.

 

“yeah yeah, yuck it up. what do you need, bergara.” there’s shuffling on the other line as eugene sits up in his bed.

 

“um- i think the glamour wore off. you said it had a five month durability, right?”

 

“uh huh. you need another one? don’t want the guys upstairs knowing you’re around?”

 

“mhm. living a mortal life is just… it’s better than anything up there. if they drag me up there to yell at me one more time i might just discorporate myself.”

 

eugene chuckles this time, and he flips through a small notebook on the other end.

 

“alright, i am free this… wednesday. today is sunday right? yeah. these kinds of glamours take so much out of me, so you’ll be my only client that day. got a particularly bad curse to deal with on tuesday, so i’ll probably be a little drained. nothing a little bourbon can fix.”

 

“i thought witches shouldn’t get drunk before-”

 

“can it, bergara, i do what i want. wednesday it is. stop calling this early, too.”

 

and eugene hangs up.


	6. act ii, scenes ii and iv

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: me actively bullying keith habersberger, eye gore, torture attic, mother mother songs.
> 
> the formatting is weird in this chapter, but when you get scene 3 itll make more sense
> 
> huh, wheres act 2 scene 3?

* * *

 

_it’s dark. it’s dark and his whole body hurts._

_keith blinks himself awake in the swallowing emptiness, and immediately is hit with a sharp pain across his entire head._

_he doesn’t know where he is. he knows he’s bleeding, he knows he’s done for._

_becky. becky, where’s becky-_

_“don’t worry about her. i took care of her for you. she’d get in the way of your job, right?”_

_keith's lips curl into an ungodly angry snarl._

_“keep- keep your dirty fucking hands off her, beast!” he writhes in the seat he’s bound in, but the figure in front of him smacks him._

_“you need to do this, keith. you just need to. and i need you to do this. it’s your job, after all. and i need you to do this for me as well.”_

* * *

  


ryan knocks on an apartment door.

he’s done this plenty of times, at this point eugene’s apartment feels like a doctor’s office. weird analogy, he thinks, but it works.

he goes to knock a third time before eugene opens the door.

“you know the rules, dude. you don’t-”

“-knock twice, i know.” ryan finishes.

eugene just raises a brow and turns on his heel.

“come on in.”

* * *

_the figure sways back to the doorway, leaking in a bright yellow light. keith’s glasses, unfortunately, had been shattered and tossed to the side. the figure’s tall, that’s all he can grasp as they stand in the doorway._

_“you- you can’t do this, you can’t- please.” keith begs, the cables around his hands digging further into his wrists._

_if only he actually retained the kidnapping episode information. like ned. hopefully ned’s safe, he thinks. he doesn’t want any of them near him. not now. for their safety._

_“keep begging, keith. it’ll get you nowhere. everything will go a lot smoother if you just relax.” the figure coos._   


* * *

ryan follows shortly behind, sitting in the living room as eugene goes to grab the half empty glass of bourbon he left on the kitchen counter.

he saunters himself into the living room, sitting opposite of ryan. he splays himself out on the couch akin to a cat, bourbon still in hand as he adjusts to prop himself up with an elbow.

“very professional.” ryan remarks as eugene scoffs into his bourbon.

“it’s my apartment. you’re a regular client.” he shrugs, waving the sleeve of red silk kimono he decided to wear in the air.

“alright. whatever, just- just do your thing. i was a little worried that… well, i was with shane the night i called you-”

“you were at that church? see any spirits?” eugene raises a brow as the now empty glass is placed on the coffee table.

 

* * *

_“just- just leave them out of this. leave my friends out of this- god, zach, eugene, ned, i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry.” he wheezes, shaking as he begins to break down._

_“beg all you want. the future’s set in stone, and you’re the one that carves the rock to my liking. it just needs to happen.”_

_at this, keith begins sobbing._

_“god, shane- shane i’m sorry for whatever the fuck i did wrong-! please- please just let becky go, just let her go wherever she is, please! leave my friends alone, they don’t deserve this, please! they don’t deserve to get hurt because of me!” he croaks, writhing even harder in his chair._

_shane stays silent. the demon’s eyes glint a hollow, empty yellow in the dark._

 

_keith stares at the hollow eyes with desperation scratched into his face. his lip quivers as he tries searching shane for any sense of guilt, any humanity there._

 

_he hangs his head and sobs into his chest. picking a god and praying is the best option now._

 

* * *

“uhh… well, the spirit box did catch someone saying ‘lord almighty’. probably one of the priests.” ryan nods.

“no, i meant like, did you /see/ any spirits.” eugene presses, and ryan shakes his head.

“bergara, you’re an angel. a literal ethereal being. and you’re telling me that you, a being from the high heavens, a fucking archangel no less, didn’t see a ghost.”

“no! no, it- it doesn’t really work like that. angels don’t really ‘see ghosts’. i mean, ghosts are real, yeah, but we don’t see them. ghosts mean that they’re stuck in purgatory, and unless they’re like- destined to go to heaven, we don’t see them. not until the end times, if i remember the last board meeting-”

“you have fucking /board meetings/ up there?!” eugene cackles.

* * *

_“we’re both losing something. isn’t that solidarity, keith? i have to lose my best friend. it’s only fair that we have to complete our respective tasks.” shane sighs, leaning against the doorframe._

_“zach has to die. is that right? is that what you need to do? well, i can help you. let me help you, keith.”_

_keith shudders as a thick drop of blood flows from a cut above his brow hits his eyelashes. he blinks it out. he tenses up and sits up straight, looking the demon in the eye._

_“go to hell, madej.”_

_shane looks almost shocked at this._

_“...alrighty, then. i guess i’ll just kill two birds with one stone.”_

_he approaches keith, only to turn to a table tucked somewhere in the place. from what keith can gather now, the “place” is probably an attic._

_“let’s get this show on the road, baby.”_

* * *

“well, yeah-!! yeah, that was like, six hundred years ago. been ditching ever since.” ryan flushes, and eugene just smacks his thigh as he continues to laugh.

“do they wear suits up there? is- is there a heavenly mail room? holy fuck, are you guys like- do you work in heavenly stocks? is it like wall street up there? a fucking board meeting! ha!”

“alright, how about you get off your high horse-” ryan starts, but eugene holds up a finger to quiet him.

“un- unbelievable! it’s like a fucking company up there? no clouds, no- you know what? i’m not gonna ask. let- let me just do this glamour, and /then/ i’ll make fun of the guys upstairs.” he chuckles.

eugene gets up from the couch and disappears into another room as ryan just sits, simmering in the fact that eugene had the nerve, the kahones, to just say that (truth be told, as soon as he gets off heaven’s radar again, he’ll bust their chops so hard. he’s just scared of what’ll go on his record up there if he’s caught actively supporting blasphemy).

eugene slides back into the room with a particularly large quartz and a thick sage bundle.

“alright. let’s get this show on the road.”

* * *

  


_keith’s breath hitches. a hot tear rolls out of one eye as he braces for the worst._

_shane reaches over to turn his phone on. it’s open to spotify._

_keith just scoffs._

_“you’re- you’re going to murder me to music? real classy.” he spits as a last resort of defiance._

_“who said i was murdering you? i’m only here to… convince you.”_

_shane presses play as he reaches for something._

**_“you and me, we’re not the same…”_ **

_shane sways with the music as he reaches up to the ceiling. it’s a small cord. the lightbulb atop keith turns on, its white dim light bouncing off the various sharp objects laid out on a small plastic table._

* * *

eugene places the quartz onto the coffee table as he lights up the sage, wafting it around the area. ryan sits still and stares idly at the quartz.

“alright. just give me a minute and you’ll be set. you remember the rules?”

“yeah. glamours don’t work on machines and i need to keep concentration on it.”

“no dipshit, /i/ need to concentrate on it. so shut up while i’m doing this.” eugene retorts, sitting back down.

* * *

**_“i am a sinner, you are a saint…”_ **

_shane twiddles a melon baller and a shard of glass between both hands. keith tries to focus on the cars speeding past. it’s at this point that he realizes that this isn’t shane’s place. he stares out the dirty window and holds his breath._

* * *

he focuses in on himself under the skin now. the eyes underneath the skin on his face. occasionally he can feel them blink. the stereotypical halo angels are depicted with is there, and not. the halo is but a ring ryan wore on his middle finger. he can feel the energy pulsate under his skin, light and almost overwhelming.

it almost hurts, if angels could register pain.

* * *

**_“when we get to the pearly gates…”_ **

_“alright, keithy. last chance. will you willingly let me help you? or do i still need to convince you? after all, becky’s still… well…”_

_“what the /fuck/ did you do to my wife, madej.” he spits._

_“nothing, nothing! i guess i still have to convince you.” he waves the melon baller around._

_keith thrashes in his spot again and shane opts for slashing the glass shard at his face. keith gasps and throws his head back in pain._

_“stop. moving.”_

 

* * *

he falls deeper into his head and remembers that night at the church. shane was sick. he was vomiting. he woke up to shane being sick.

he goes over what he saw.

the fence was tipped over. the garden was wilted and sad looking. shane looked terrified. he was vomiting so much black. the moon made it look black, at least. that’s what he thinks.

that’s what he wants to think.

* * *

**_“you’ll get the green light…”_ **

_shane inches forward with the melon baller, grasping keith’s neck with a clawed hand. one move and shane could snap his neck._

* * *

“alright. i’m done.” eugene sighs, snapping ryan out of his head.

“oh. that, uh, that quick?”

“yeah.” eugene nods, and stretches out on the couch.

“i thought you had work.” ryan remarks.

“called out sick. why are you pressing me?” he cocks a brow and ryan turns away.

“no reason, no reason. i’ll be heading out. thanks, eugene-”

as he turns to leave eugene grabs his wrist. ryan spins around and eugene’s looking right in his eye. the nonchalance in his face quickly twisted into fear.

* * *

**_“i’ll get the old door in the face.”_ **

_and shane plunges the melon baller into keith’s right eye._

 

* * *

“i- eugene. eugene, let go.”

“no-! no, ryan. i’m serious. watch yourself, something- something’s coming up. i don’t know what but you just need to be careful. now get out of my apartment.” he warns, releasing ryan and slouching back on the couch.

ryan gives him a look that one would give to an absolute crackhead. so, in a sense, that would be total bewilderment.

he quickly heads out of there. he told the office he had a doctor’s appointment today. he’s almost running late.


End file.
